Being a Bachelor again is no fun

Little Gotlu and Mommy are in India. I miss them terribly.

It always annoyed me when my parents who are now in their 70's would get all teary when they say goodbye to us. I now know why. It is because they realize that this may be the last time we meet.

After the Mumbai attacks (and I promise not to go off on a rant about India's inept security), which was India's fourth major terror attack this year, the feeling sank in that there are no guarantees. Anything can happen, to anyone, anywhere in India. I fretted for several days about my baby daughter and wife visiting India at this time, but in the end I let the plans go ahead.

So, I told Simone on the way to the airport, safely out of earshot of her Mommy, that I loved her very much, and if something should happen to me, that she should go and lead a full life. What does a little baby know about the nasty world out there? She just looked at me puzzled, then reached out and squeezed my nose.

I spent the two days after they were gone feeling terribly lonely. I hate it when they are gone. I thought the loneliness would go away. But through the magic of the telephone, I get to hear her voice all the time...and the loneliness starts all over again.

I remember very vividly one episode that keeps my heart warm on these cold Los Angeles night when they are gone. In the evenings, when I come home, Simone hears the key in the lock, and runs to the door, squealing 'Daddy Daddy Daddy'. It is the nicest feeling ever. The zenith of this activity occured a few weeks before they left. As usual she ran towards me, but then she stopped halfways and started clapping. She clapped for a good two minutes, squealing 'Daddy' 'Daddy' again and again. It is one of the scenes that enter your mind and stay there for a lifetime. It will be one way that I will always remember her, when she becomes a young girl, then a teenager, a young woman and when she is an adult and makes her own way in this world.